So I’m home from Auburn for the summer, which feels REALLY weird. Not so much because I’m home, but because I am officially a sophomore now. I really had no idea that time could pass so quickly. I seriously had the best year of my life this year. I know I say it all the time, but I LOVE COLLEGE. More specifically, I love my college. I love Auburn and what it embodies. I love the theatre, I love my friends, I love my classes. I went into this year knowing two people (two people that I would rarely see since Auburn is HUGE). Now I have so many friends and I couldn’t live without them. If I ever doubted my decision, I sure don’t now. If I had gone to Ole Miss, it would have just been an extension of high school, which is exactly what I didn’t want. I would have been miserable. I have grown and learned so much this year and I cannot express how blessed I am and how much I can’t wait to continue college :)

It’s great to be home, though, because I now I can see all of my high school friends. I can’t believe some of them are graduating!! For those of you who are about to experience (aka LOVE) college, here’s some advice: Don’t be afraid to try new things. Branch out, that’s how you meet new people and make great memories. Enjoy yourself- college really is the best time of your life. Study hard, play hard, and have the time of your life. I am so proud of all of you!

This is a term my friend and I came up with at lunch today. There is a week and a half before finals and these couple of weeks are going to be the most stressful weeks I’ve had in a long time, so today my friend and I just complained about everything we have to do. It helped though. We’re in the same boat so we understood each other.

But seriously. Tomorrow I have a revival performance of Episode (Scene) 1 of Machinal at the art museum for an expressionist event. Immediately after the scene, I’m leaving with a friend to go see Much Ado About Nothing at Alabama Shakespeare Festival. We’ll be crunched for time, which is my absolute favorite thing in the world. This weekend I am going to Huntsville with a friend for Easter. I’ll get to see some of my dad’s family, and I’m really excited. On Monday I have an audition for a show I really want to be cast in and I am super duper nervous! Next week is Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’m pumped, but it’s going to be exhausting because there will be lots of very late nights. I’m a Time Warper and I tried on my costume today and wondered what I had gotten myself into. I felt a bit like a huge whale, so I’ll have to get over that one. Salads and water, here I come! (I’m kidding. Sorta). But next week is the last week of class. WHAT????? I can’t believe it… 

I only have two written finals, which is nice, but they are both on the first day of exams. One at noon and one at four. Fantastic. My last final is the one I am stressing about, because it’s a performance in my Intro to Theatre for Majors class. So in addition to everything else I’m doing, I am working on/rehearsing for that. Is anyone else sensing a breakdown in the very near future? YUP

On a lighter note, I am more in love with my costume class every day. Pictures coming soon!!

So thanks for listening to (reading about?) me complain. Sometimes that’s all someone needs.

I really can’t express it in enough ways, but college makes me so excited for my future. I have no earthly idea what it holds, but I have so many things I can’t wait to experience! While I anticipate the future, though, I look back on my past. I know that I don’t have much of one, I’m only 19, but I can still mark my path and how I’ve changed. 

I personally think that I have changed more than many of the people I know. When I started high school, I was kinda lost. I was stuck in my little academic bubble of trying to be perfect and popular. Minor social things still determined my actions and often crushed me. However, now I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I am definitely that girl that bloomed in college. I am controlling my life (mostly, at least). I am doing what I love and I have some of the best friends I could ever hope for. I’m growing closer to God am more at peace with my life and future than I ever have been. I know I talk about my future a lot on here, but that’s what I’m dealing with every day. College is my stepping stone, and every class I take moves me closer to my dreams.

*Gag,* that was super cheesy.

But seriously. I’m taking an Italian class next semester and I am over the moon! Most of you know that my time in Italy (short though it was) was the best 10 days of my life. I love the culture, the people, the language, the FOOD (mostly the food), the history, everything! Once I study in Florence and become fluent in Italian, I will learn Spanish. Then I will teach myself Portuguese. I am determined to speak four languages by the time I am 30. That way I can go anywhere in Europe that I want to go :) And by go there, I mean live, obviously. After I live in New York and win a Tony, that is. Once I am multi-lingual and have lived a fabulous couple of years abroad, I can work for the government doing top-secret things. Then I will move to Charleston, South Carolina, buy an antebellum home, teach high school theatre, and love every minute of it. 

Somewhere in there I want to get married and have lots of babies. If you figure out where it goes, let me know because I have no idea. (This is where God laughs at my attempts to plan my life.) Because everyone who knows me knows that I cannot wait to be a mommy. Half of my friends- okay, fine, more than half- call me “Mama Kaye.” I’ve been called Mama since high school, and I love that. I can’t wait to have babies and cook and bake and be the typical housewife. That may sound cliche, but I don’t care. My dream (well, after traveling the world and receiving acclaim as an actress. Or costume designer) is to be a mom. 

Okay. So this was a little everywhere. On a different note, I get to see Bo Burnham tonight!!! I AM SO EXCITED! On another different note, the admissions staff at Hinds have no idea what they are talking about. In a nutshell, I really don’t know how many ways I can say that I am from the Rankin area, want to take a summer class, but currently go to school in another state and cannot register in person.

But. I love my life :)

There’s so much that I want to say, I just don’t know how to say it. Things have been so busy lately that unless it has to do with theatre, I probably have no idea what’s going on. Seriously. The other day, I put my laundry in the dryer, went to a meeting, came back to get my laundry, and realized that I had never turned the dryer on. There went $1.25, because someone had already used it. But things are heating up for Summertime! Tonight is crew view and I am so excited/nervous! I am so scared about calling/running the show, but I am so pumped about it!

The other day, I got to give a tour of the theatre to some kids who were looking at Auburn and were interested in our program. I loved showing them around and was so proud to show off our department. I was able to show them what I get to do everyday and how much I love it. The best part was how totally excited they were! They loved it, so hopefully we’ll see them again!

Lately I’ve just been filled with this deep contentment. Even if my day has just been so-so, I realize that I am happy. Maybe not necessarily with that day, but just in general. I realize how much I love my school, my classes, and my friends here, and I see how truly blessed I am. I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone’s. (Unless of course, you offered me a trade-off with Idina Menzel. Or Julie Andrews. I’d totally go for that.) But really, there is nothing that could make me happier. 

I’ve been thinking a lot just about stuff lately, if that makes sense. I register for classes next week. I’m going to be a SOPHOMORE. In COLLEGE. Where on earth did that come from?? My freshman year has FLOWN by. In case you can’t tell from all of the extra emphasis, I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!! What am I going to do with my life? I know that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, and I know that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, but where do I go from here? It’s terrifying. But I guess I have time to figure that out. It’s just such a strange thought, because I can remember my first day of high school like it was yesterday. Goodness, I can remember my first day of middle school. That’s odd…

But now that I’ve rambled and you’ve probably gotten bored, I’m going to do something more worthy of my time. Maybe I’ll write an informative letter to Mr. Harvey Updyke… ;)

venuschild:

Ray Bradbury (Paris Review, 2010)

THIS!

Things have just felt weird lately. I think it’s because I’m getting used to a lot.

For one thing, I am getting used to a new age. 19, woot woot. Haha. Not really, but kinda. I mean, it’s my last year as a teenager. Not that that really changes anything, but it still feels strange.

And another, I am experiencing so many new things in the theatre. I am in the costume studio A LOT and I am absolutely in love with it. For real. It just makes me so happy and, in a way, it calms me. (I will allow no judging for that last statement, thank you very much). Also, I am a stage manager now. DUN DUN DUNNNNN. But so far I like it. It’s a huge responsibility (and honor), but it involves a lot of organization, which is right up my happy little OCD alley. Tonight in rehearsal (random little tangent) we were blocking a scene, and there was this section of dialogue that I absolutely loved, so I’m going to share it with you. It’s from Summertime by Charles Mee. (The show is written in verse, so that’s why I put all of the /’s.)

JAMES: You see, you could come to love me./I’m crazy about you, Tessa,/ you know, if somebody’s crazy about you,/ you can’t resist it finally/ because it feels so good to have someone just be crazy for you/ and just love everything about you and everything you do/ and just be delighted in you/ and laugh at your jokes and feel for you/ and love to do things with you/ and look out for you/ and all that sort of thing/ I think I’m going to become irresistible to you.

TESSA: [smiling] You do?

JAMES: I’m really pretty sure of it.

Call me a cheesy, hopeless romantic, but I love those few lines. I just love what they are saying, because, to me, that really is love.

Another adjustment/change is that things are starting to happen for next year. Holy time, Batman! Before I know it, I will be in my sophomore year of college. Am I ready for that? YES. Haha. I really am ready to not be a freshman anymore. Don’t get me wrong, this year has been fantastic, but I am ready to not have THAT brand. 

Anyway, those are just some of the random thoughts that I felt needed to be let out. And I haven’t Tumbld in a while, so I don’t want Chrismonster to yell at me again ;)

Happiness is satisfaction in an accomplishment :)

Yesterday was my first for-real day in the costume shop and I am IN LOVE. Seriously. I worked on a red dress for Light in the Piazza. Granted, I am not the only one working on the dress, and I didn’t do anything mind-blowing, but it’s going to feel great to see that dress on stage and know that I helped make it :) I learned how to use a serger, and it is my new favorite thing. If you look at the inseam of your pants, that fancy zig-zag stich that makes it look neat was done by a serger. They finish seams and cut off excess fabric. I WANT ONE! If and when I get serious about making my own clothes, it’s almost imperative that I have one. (Ahem, Christmas present! ;) ) I just love getting to work with fabric and sewing machines and creating beautiful things. I love it.

I love learning new things about sewing. And I am so super beyond excited about my costume construction class. I can’t wait to actually start making things! I wonder what I’ll make for my final project….

It’s hard for me to put into words exactly what theatre is to me. In a way, I feel like it has saved me, and for that I owe it some huge debt. For this reason, I want to learn anything and everything about theatre so that I can pass on my love to others. Before I found theatre, I was a shy, bookish nerd who would read books at lunch and recess instead of talking and playing with other students. I was unhappy with who I was and always longed to be one of the ‘popular’ kids. Once I found theatre, though, things completely changed for me. I found something about which I was passionate. A whole world opened up. In addition to finding something I loved, I found people I loved. I was accepted for who I was and no one asked me to change. I relished the feeling of belonging, and I no longer dreamed of being popular. Once I found this contentment, I had more friends and was more well-liked than I had ever been.

I started as a performer and that is my first and greatest love. The feeling of being onstage in front of a live audience is hard to define or replicate. However, I also love costuming and the idea of actually creating the character’s look and making it come to life. I have had limited directing experience, but I fell in love with the whole exhausting, exhilarating process. When I directed The Miracle Worker, I poured my whole self into everything and there was such a sense of pride with the final product that I knew that I loved directing. That project in general showed me that theatre was absolutely something I couldn’t live without and that theatre is truly important as an art form and an education tool.

Theatre is so under-appreciated and under-represented in our society. This is such a shame, because theatre brings people together and has more benefits than most people would ever believe possible. In addition to building confidence, theatre builds people skills, creativity, and inspires the learning process. I really do think that if more people were exposed to theatre and given an opportunity to experience it at its finest, education would improve on a scale that is hardly imaginable. Students who are involved in any of the fine arts on a regular basis are proven to have higher test scores and a stronger desire to learn. Teachers who work in schools where the arts are a major part of curriculum enjoy smaller turn-over rates and a more positive teaching atmosphere. 

As a theatre major, hopefully I will get the chance to show others the breath-taking world to which I have been exposed. My middle school theatre teacher taught with such passion that I want to be for other students what she was for me. Even if I don’t end up as a teacher, I will become a strong arts education advocate because it’s what I believe is important. If I had to describe myself as a theatre artist and scholar in just a word, it would be passionate. I am so hungry to learn and absorb everything I can because I know that theatre is what I love and what I want to do for the rest of my life. Nothing else can make me as happy as theatre does, and if I can help just one other person find that happiness in their life, then everything I am working for will be worth it. I may never see my name on a Broadway program, but if I should help to further theatre and her cause, then I have lived my life to its fullest. 

So I’m back in good ole Sasnett in Auburn. I can’t really say I’m settled back in since I’m switching rooms today. Which I am super excited about, by the way. I even get a little extra time for the move since Auburn cancelled classes for Monday. Not, as one might expect, because of the championship game, but because of predicted bad weather. A whole inch of snow. Haha. But it’s the ice that prompted the cancellation. Which I am totally okay with. I’m just upset that they also cancelled the viewing of the game in the arena. And two of my three classes on Tuesday have been cancelled. I just hope that the power doesn’t go out. Because that would be so not okay. It would be freezing. 

But I am so excited for this semester. I am going to be spending more time in the theatre, which is a major plus :) Out of my five classes, three are in the theatre, and since I am assistant stage manager for Hamlet this spring, I will be completely devoted to the theatre during that rehearsal period. But I am taking costume construction, which I cannot even put in words how excited I am. And I get Fridays off. Which is amazing. 

As for the schemes, well, we’ll just have to see about that, now won’t we ;) Alyson Smith and I are together, so you can bet that we’ll be up to something! We have more fake snow, so I am pretty confident that the Snow Fairies will be visiting the campus sometime soon.